10 Things Gatekeepers Learn in “College”

Did I tell you about the time I was a gatekeeper? (Now that I’m in sales it’s kind of like being a former FBI counter terrorist turned terrorist.) Back then I used to answer the main line at a small software company. I could spot a salesperson a mile away too. The Caller ID would often read “Unavailable” or their company’s name would show up on Caller ID way too many times in the day. They would ask for Chuck, a nickname my boss Charles absolutely despised and never used. They’d mispronounce other people’s names, ask for people who left the company years ago, and ask for the person in charge of (fill in the blank). Many of them would use that phrase every receptionist hates “Maybe you can help me.” In my case, I had other lines to answer, other duties to perform, and no decision-making authority. Helping a clueless salesperson was the last thing on my mind.

While I was a gatekeeper, I would receive literature for “gatekeeper colleges” that taught receptionists how to be better at guarding their company executives from unwanted phone calls and surprise in-person visits. Though I never attended an event, here are ten of the things I learned from the literature and just good old fashioned experience about salespeople who often cold call, how they think, and how to get rid of them.
Behold the GATEKEEPER’S MANIFESTO:
1. Say you’re not interested to salespeople on the phone and hang up immediately so there is no rebuttal.

2. Put the salesperson on hold and “forget” about her. She will hang up because she only has eight to ten minutes before she has to make another call.

3. Put all salespeople directly into voicemail. Important people will have direct dial numbers for the people they need to speak with.

4. Say the executive is unavailable and give no further information when asked.

5. Salespeople will not know how to pronounce their prospects’ names, and they will often use a nickname the executive never uses.

6. If a salesperson mailed info before the call, tell her the executive would have called if there was an interest.

7. Send sales calls to the top executive’s secretary (or the secretary’s voicemail).

8. Salespeople are liars.

9. Screen all sales calls by putting them on hold and asking the executive if he wants to speak with the person.

10. All salespeople sound alike. (i.e. May I speak with the person in charge of…)

Gatekeepers know their stuff, and you should know yours as well. With that in mind, how will you make adjustments to your sales calls?

Regards,

E. R. Carpenter